Recently, I've been talking to a guy that I had met while
picking up take-out (classy, I know). He makes burritos
for a living, which doesn’t say much for him.
However, he also strongly resembles an actor that I have a gigantic
crush on (it might be the dude who plays Silas Botwin), and he has numerous tattoos—so he has the bad boy thing going for
him. I took action, like the strong
feminist that I am, and initiated a texting relationship.
About a day in, I realized that not only is this guy younger
than me, but he’s also sort of dumb. So,
there’s a double-whammy situation going on here—young AND dumb. For some background, I’m the sort of person
that reads Fitzgerald for fun, and highlights the quotes in the book that are
especially relatable. In other words, I
am a huge nerd—and I’m proud to be one, even though I don’t really have to
defend my nerdiness these days, as it has apparently become “cool”.
I’m not saying that there is anything wrong with this
guy. He seems to have a lot more friends
than me. He’s extremely good-looking. I can bet that his social skills far exceed
my own. If anything, young and dumb is
something that I’d love to have been at one point in my life—but I never had
the opportunity. My brain does not have
an off-switch, which is both a burden and a strength.
Anyway, one thing that I noticed during our textversations
(conversations+text) is the pattern our “question-->response-->comment
Question: So, what do you do for fun?
Reponse: Well, I love
to go to bookstores, and I love to write.
I also love to sing.
Comment: Ohhh, I like that!
Smart girl :)
None of this bothers me, except for that last part. To literally every answer I gave, this dude
would respond, “I like that!”. Well,
that’s great—but I never really know how to respond to that statement. My most basic instinct always hints that I
should just respond, “I don’t CARE if you like that!”—but my social graces
always get the best of me.
One of the most common “I like that’s” that I get is about
my hair. I have a very short pixie cut,
a la Jean Seberg. Every single man that
I’ve been involved with in the past year or so has felt the need to make a
comment about my hair. Mostly, it goes
something like this: “I don’t usually like girls with short hair, but it looks
great on you!”. I don’t mind hearing
this—in fact, sometimes, I enjoy it. It
gives me a boost of confidence. But something about that statement always bothers me.
I’ve cut all of my hair off twice in my lifetime. Both times, when I’ve looked the hairdresser
in the eye and said, “Cut it ALL off!”—I have never once thought to myself, “But
what if men don’t like it?”. More frightening is the fact that many women have
said to me, both before and after I got it cut, “You know, I’ve heard that men
don’t like short hair”. My response to
this has always been, and will always be, “Yeah? Well, good thing I don’t care!” Because, honest to God, I DON’T!
It is my genuine belief that if a “man” is a man at ALL, he
will love me no matter what my hair looks like.
I want to find a man that, if I died my hair bright purple tomorrow, he
would still hold my hand proudly in public.
I know that attraction is an important aspect to any relationship, but I
also don’t think that ANY person should make decisions based on what she thinks somebody else would like to see. As long as you
are happy with yourself, as you are, you will attract somebody who loves you
for being that way.
