10 Things I've Learned In the Past Six(ish) Months (Or, Leah's Adventures in Living At Home)

As all of you know, I moved back in with my parents in October, after a failed attempt at New York City (or, you know, Hoboken).  It's the strangest thing in the world to go from having complete freedom to having little, to none at all.  It's had its negatives and positives, as all things do.  But one thing that has been a positive is that I've had all the time in the world to reflect, and to be completely lost and confused about life.

Here are some things that I've learned over these past six(ish) months:

1.) A book is never a regrettable purchase.  Each week at Starbucks, I'm handed about seventy dollars in tip money.  Most weeks, I immediately retreat to Barnes and Noble's to get the next book on my list of things to read.  Over the past six(ish) months, I've read about a book a week/every two weeks.  I read on my breaks.  I read on my days off.  I read whenever I can.  I've always been a reader, but now that I have more alone time, I've become a devout reader.  I moved away from most of my friends when I came back to Rochester, and so I made friends with Kurt Vonnegut and J.D. Salinger and F. Scott Fitzgerald instead--and sometimes, I think they've enriched my life just as much as my real friends have.

2.) Reading more will make you a better writer.  Never in my life had I actually finished a short story, until a few months ago.  Before that, I had written most poems and songs--and had a lot of unfinished beginnings on stories, but never a full one.  Reading great books is a fantastic education in the art of writing.  It has helped me to know what I want out of my own writing, as well as what I want out of other authors.  I truly believe that the only way to learn about something is to fully immerse yourself in it.

3.) Life is not black-and-white.  And people are not, exclusively, good or bad.  The entire universe is just one big grey area.  And it's up to all of us to make some sense of it, if we can.

4.) The "blue streak of recognition" is real.  In "Angels In America", Tony Kushner wrote a scene between two characters where they identified a "blue streak of recognition" upon meeting one another.  That is to say--you meet someone, and you immediately identify with them, without ever knowing why, or how, or from where.  Throughout my life, I've always suspected that it's real--but working at a job where I am forced to talk to several people I don't know every day has only made this phenomenon more apparent to me.  I can't explain where it comes from, but it definitely happens.

5.) Long drives through the countryside will, ultimately, solve all your problems.  Even if it's for just an hour--even if the problem rears its ugly head immediately after you step outside of your car--for that hour when you're driving, everything feels perfect.

6.) Sometimes, the best places are the places where you've never been.  Yesterday, I drove to a town an hour outside of my hometown.  I got out of my car and walked around and explored.  I went into the Town Hall and sketched out a woman who worked in the offices.  The entire town smelled like old houses, sort of like Princeton.  I sat on a bench by a waterfall for awhile.  And I knew absolutely no one, and I had no idea where I was going or what I was going to encounter; and I felt alive and happy for it.

7.) Do not heed to expectations.  Every single day, my parents have a new suggestion for what I should do with my future.  I've learned that, although they think they are being helpful, they are not.  The only way to figure things like that out is to figure them out yourself.  I am the only person who can know what I want out of life.  And if I want something that my parents don't understand--well, that's their problem, not mine.

8.) Pleasantries are for poserz.  My favorite customer at Starbucks is named Walter.  He's a sarcastic, bitter middle-aged dude.  He makes me feel silly when I tell him to "have a nice night".  I love people who have no need for pleasantries; they feel much more genuine.

9.) Some fights are just not worth fighting.  That woman who yelled at you for making her drink wrong?  Make it again, smile at her, and tell her you're sorry.  It's not worth it to give her attitude.  First of all, you'll look like an asshole, and second of all, she probably won't give two shits.  Save your energy for the big fights; don't waste it on the little ones.

10.) Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.  Shakespeare truly said it best.  Be kind, but don't be stupid.  Embrace who you can, when you can--but always have your wits about you.  There is a thin line between being an open, loving person and being the type of person that everyone takes advantage of.  It's up to us to find where that line is, and it does take quite a bit of experimenting.

I hope this is not terribly boring.  I miss you all too much!