Morning's People

The walk from my room to the coffee maker is my time. I’m a zombie on a mission, and no one is going to stop me! Saying, “Oh, who’s up? Em is that you? Em? Hey, Em! Emily?” will not get my attention. I’m not going to talk to you, I’m not going to acknowledge you, I’m not going to do anything accept glare at anyone blocking my path. Every morning, I’m the second person up, and every morning there is this same one-sided conversation. This pattern will keep repeating till I move out as I never tell my dad to stop talking to me, I simply ignore him. And, since my dad spends the majority of his day talking to himself, a response isn’t always necessary. Give me that one cup of coffee, and I’m golden, perfectly functional in the am.

“What’s thirteen divided by three?”
“Seven,” I say without thinking.
“No, I don’t think that’s…” 
I cut her off, “Sorry, I’m really not a morning person.”
“Oh, it’s ok.”

“And then, I went to the grocery store and was in a cash only line by accident, but they wouldn’t take my credit card! And then, I got home and was putting groceries away only to realize that I had left the bag with the eggs there, which was the reason I went in the first place! So, now I have to drive all the way back to buy the stupid eggs to make this stupid cake that I’ll probably burn anyway and…Are you even listening?”
“What? Yeah, no, kind of. Sorry, I’m really not a morning person.”
She sighs and says, “Well, you still probably would’ve remembered the eggs.”

“Can I have a coffee please?”
“What size?”
“Oh umm grande I guess.”
“And would you like any room for milk and sugar?”
“Yes. Oh and can I get a little hazelnut in it?”
“Sure.”
“Oh, so now I don’t need the room anymore, because that is sugar right?”
“Yes.”
“And can I get it iced instead?”
“Mhm.”
“Actually, can I just get a tall vanilla latte and a croissant?”
She throws the cup away and shoots me an, “are you kidding me with this?” look.
“Okay, that’s four eighty seven please.”
“Sorry about that. It’s just, I’m really not a morning person.”
“Don’t worry, no one here is.”
Smiles exchanged and no one hates me but the guy behind me.

100% socially acceptable. Any other time of day, you’re on your own! I’ll only give it away to you all that I am a morning person. You know you are if you wake up early for no purpose other than to start your day sooner. You should jump on this and start pretending if you are as well. And if you aren’t a morning person, well own up and milk it for all it’s worth. You have to get a little creative in the evenings, but morning is a precious time not to be wasted!! Grab some coffee so you can go say and do your stupid things faster, hopefully getting them out of your way before starting the day seriously at 10.